A delightful, insightful, and unsurprisingly intellectual TED Talk by UK academic and self-taught feminist Steve Porters (drag king persona of Daisy Doris May). The 26-year-old iPod DJ from Guildford claims to be able to charm the pants off about 1.5 people and is now using his lived experience to educate the masses. Thank, ahem… thank… fuck. Alright, he’s probably more famous in the Revs down the road, but if you don’t know him, your mum probably does.

By that, I mean your mum probably knows his mum. Unless she’s, like, fit… and single… AND, more importantly, consenting. Fit, single, and CONSENTING.

Picture this: romantic red lighting, the thumping bass of Dizzee Rascal’s Bonkers vibrating through the floor, and your nostrils filled with the ever so subtle scent of Lynx Africa. A small, goatee’d man, obsessed with flashing his nipples and dancing with an unfathomable ferocity, is in front of you. Fit.

Steve takes you through a PowerPoint, armed with a pink pointer, a spinny chair, and a tampon with his number written on it (he’s considerate like that). His best mate, Dan (director Mpilo May), is on the decks. They mean business. Porters shares his thoughts on how to flirt successfully without being a dick, how to handle rejection, and other lessons in basic human decency. He demonstrates with one-on-one roleplays with audience members, now titled freshers, and encourages some fresher-on-fresher practice. Rule #1: Don’t be a dick. Simple, right?

Though Steve is probably more Casa Amor than Casanova, he’s got a point. There’s a genuine need for education on consent and communication—and he’s the self-appointed man for the job, having learned the hard way. Oi. Not like that.

The show itself is a hilarious, energetic hour of genius, but it’s deeper than just a silly show about a silly man-child. Beneath the satire, it’s a critique of modern dating, lad culture, and toxic masculinity, wrapped in puns, humour, and sick dance moves.

It’s all fun and games until we realize why Steve’s doing his TED Talk. He may have actually been part of the problem. The innuendo that once had the audience roaring with laughter, and the seemingly harmless humour, takes a darker turn, revealing how behaviour we excuse as “banter” because someone’s charming can actually enable gross actions. When does banter go too far, and who’s going to call it out? It’s easy to side with someone who’s done questionable things because he’s “one of the lads,” but it makes you wonder: What was Steve really like before his big epiphany? And how much of his reform is because he wants to be a better person, or because he’s just sad he got caught?

Steve’s portrayal is more naïve than intentionally predatory. Porters is a product of his society, someone who “didn’t know better.” He represents a much larger issue—someone raised in a hyper-sexualized bubble, equating their worth to their sexual success. Can’t imagine what that’s like, right?! His crushed dreams and lack of self-esteem have created an arrogant insecurity that could only belong to a straight, white man. But now, Steve’s learned from his mistakes and is trying to change, which is actually pretty rare for his demographic. What’s more, he has this repressed sensitivity that makes him hard not to love. You can tell he feels genuine remorse for his past actions.

Unfortunately, plenty of pre-reform Steves are out there, and they’re not harmless. These people exist, and they’re certainly not fun.

I also love the way this story is told. Let me preface this statement, I‘m aware that sexual harassment is genderless and the show is directed at everyone. There’s real power in a man calling out other men—except, of course, it’s coming from a drag king in the costume of a man. If men, (people in general, let’s be honest), won’t listen to women about consent, maybe they’ll listen to a very convincing drag king. Even if he’s endearingly cringey. The irony of it all is both depressing and delicious. I can easily imagine the same themes being delivered in a more serious tone by someone perceived as a woman, only to be called “woke” and “preachy” by the wrong audience. Well, serves them right, doesn’t it? Sometimes, you have to get creative to get the message across, and sometimes that’s in the form of an iPod DJ spitting pick-up lines and pure facts.

I’d actually recommend this show to anyone who needs a wake-up call, especially if they need it in a funny and accessible way. It’s perfect for lulling them into a false sense of security, only to punch them right below the belt. If they don’t get it, there’s your red flag. This show is essential viewing. From those who are knowingly laughing at Steve’s ironic stereotype, to those genuinely enjoying his humour, to those who relate a little too closely (yikes)— it’s time to educate.

It’s hard to tell where Daisy ends and Steve begins. She’s a master comedian, a firecracker performer, and a must-see. Her ability to seamlessly morph into her character is uncanny. The show’s success depends on her improv skills and her ability to build a rapport with the audience. There’s a playful, mutual energy that really makes the whole thing click. On the night I saw the show, the audience was fully on board, but I can see how it could be challenging if they weren’t. It’s a difficult show, constantly shifting night by night, but Daisy’s crowd work is among the slickest I’ve seen. You’re in good hands.

Testimonial: As a graduate of this TED Talk, I can safely say it’s changed my life. Birds flock to me now. I’m surrounded by so many great tits. I might need to buy a bigger bird bath.

Steve Porters – How To Flirt: The TED XXX Talk is a masterpiece in character comedy and an unmissable piece of fringe theatre. It’s a cult classic in the making and deserves every bit of success. You’d be a dickhead to miss it.

Drink Recommendation: A little pink, fruity cocktail in a lager glass. Made mostly with Panda Pops and served with a salty rim. Oi. Oh, and bill split exactly down the middle, because we’re feminists, don’t you know?

Although the run of How To Flirt: The Ted XXX Talk at Adelaide Fringe is over, you can catch it at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, from the 27th March to the 6th April. Get your tickets here.